Longer life expectancy?

An elderly man was found dead in his own house in Singapore recently. Police believe that he had been dead for 6-12 months before they found him.

There was a news article on this and one paragraph caught my attention -

"Most Singaporeans live in densely populated public housing estates like Tan's because of land scarcity, and an increasing number of elderly citizens live on their own due to longer life expectancy."

He was 69... Live alone due to longer life expectancy?? What does that mean?

Singaporeans know that the sentence should have been read : "...and an increasing number of elderly citizens live on their own due to the lack of welfare in the country."

Wedding car

I've always wanted a Ferrari for a wedding car. But my girlfriend says "how can you be your own driver during your wedding? Really??? To drive yourself?" Well, since 99% of Ferraris are 2 door vehicles, that dream was shattered.

Today, like lazarus, it lives again.

I found out on the web a while ago that there's actually a Ferrari Limo. Yes a Limo!





This is just great news... it even looks like we could take off to our honeymoon after the wedding. But then again... This car is not available in my country. So...

Ignite Camp '09

Carmel Ignite Camp '09 just ended.

It really was a good camp. Different feeling as the last. The last one was hectic yet memorable... this one was more relaxed and we had more time to just get to know each other and have fun.

I realised that we've all changed... and for the better! This is something I wanna thank God about. Underground church was a cool event. My role was extremely difficult to play and I had to think of ways to create the effect I wanted. But in the end it all went well and I think it was really something I will remember for a long time.

Anyhow, I saw something funny today.

That's all.

Just wanted to say that.

Not telling.

Just saying.

Yup. It was funny.

2012

I've just watched 2012. If you're looking for an action film, this should be a good choice for you. If you're like me - someone who lets his mind get into analysing why certain things were done in a certain manner, you'd be rather irritated during your movie.

Here are somethings that just made the movie too much of an action film and too little of a logical one.

Posters: Cars were lined up neat and nice on the freeway on both directions even though the whole road has collapsed leaving a HUGE canyon between the road and the city. With the minutes it take for all the buildings to collapse crumble and fall into the canyon, noone on the freeway actually swerved or did a U-turn trying to escape the collapse. They probably left their car and ran figuring they were faster than their vehicles.

Lead character: (out of many I'll pick one) While the roads were collapsing, he had to look for a map in a section where there were a pile of other maps and papers. And this was done in a camper van while the rest of his team waited in a plane for him to get the map. Wouldn't you just grab the whole lot (it wasn't a lot) and get onto the plane then look for it there?

Leaving an aircraft in a car: The aircraft was not yet in a landing speed when the car had to leave the plane. The car "jumped" off the plane. The plane was probably still travelling at 200mph when the car lept off the plane. Which meant that the car (facing the wrong way of the momentum) had to be travelling in reverse gear at close to 200mph for it to be safe. Nothing happened to the car. I would like to know the gear ratio of that reverse gear.

Scientist's best friend: While the whole of India was being tsunami-fied and all land communication was wiped out, his was still able to use his mobile phone to call his friend to say his last words. I want to know which telco he's using. I'm buying shares. It survives not only the financial crisis but the apocalypse.

Not a wise choice: You have the world's leaders with you on board. People with a track record of great leadership, brains and so on... With less than 15 minutes to go before the impact of the tsunami, would you open the gates allowing others on board, with the knowledge that the procedure might not be completed in 15 minutes which would then result in the wipe-out of the human race? It is better to have 50% on board than risk losing everyone. Yes, some of you may think I'm evil. But I would open the gates if in another situation, we had 30 minutes.

Still more to go... but I'm lazy to type 'em all...

Till next time...

SONY HD TVs

You know those horror movies like Saw where the bad guy appears on the screen with his image constantly grainy and flickering?

Sony HD should do an ad that spoofs this.

It should go just as the show does, just that the images are all crystal clear and there are a few endings:

1. They find out where the bad guy is situated because HD picks out his background.
2. They aren't too afraid after that and live happily ever after forgetting the entire incident.
3. They don't even pay attention to the bad guy speaking and just comment on how clear the picture is.

Ending tagline - SONY HD TVs. Makes a difference.

Thank You Lord!

Yup, big thanks to the BIG GUY...

I had an amazing night tonight. To cut the long story short, My brother and I actually got ourselves into the Paddock at the Singapore Formula One Grand Prix. I won't tell the entire story here so that people won't steal my plan and make it hard for me to do it again.

We spoke to engineers, got up close with the cars and parts, met up with most of the drivers, took pictures with them, sat around like lazy billionaires and just soaked up the atmosphere. It was truly an incredible night.

I remember praying "Lord grant us favour tonight. Incredible favour, because only You can..."

Visit to the hairdresser

Hairdresser's Assistant: "Sir, what would you like to drink?"
Me: "What do you have?"
Hairdresser's Assistant: "Tea."
Me: "Just tea?"
Hairdresser's Assistant: "Yes."
Me: "ok then."

In my mind I was already teaching him to rephrase his initial question to "Sir, would you like some tea."

I also realised that hairdressers love to talk to you while they're blow drying your hair. When it's peace and quiet with little snips of the scissors, they're usually mute. When the warm and strong air from the blow dryer is in your ear creating an internal heavy metal band, they start to speak to you ever so gently.

Hairdresser: "Ar ...th...cr...in...bat...no?
Me: "er.... ya."
Hairdresser: "Hahaha.....cot...you...tis...bel...fri..!"
Me: "er.. hahaha...ya"

I have no idea whether I have just agreed to go on a date with him or if he's telling me he cut off a large chunk of my hair by accident.

Don't waste your time.

Malaysia has announced that some of its recipes have been hijacked and is now claiming certain dishes (food) as theirs. Dishes such as Chilli Crab, Hainanese Chicken Rice and Nasi Lemak are all Malaysian dishes.

To me, this is just rather childish and they're really just targetting Singapore because many (even Malaysians) have called Singapore - "Food Haven".

To M'sian Tourism Min. Ng Yen Ye:

Hi, how are you? I just want to say that whatever you're doing won't change a thing. Italians have their Pasta, but the Japanese made it their own as well - Waraku's Japanese Pasta. And they're all available here. Tourists won't change their minds and go to Malaysia instead of Singapore because they think "Oh, wait a minute, it's Malaysia that came up with Nasi Lemak! I should travel there instead!" In my opinion, with the variety and quality of food we have here in Singapore, claiming certain recipes as yours won't really change a thing.

Please use your efforts, time and money in a more rewarding way.

That's a lot of cash for one man.

Yahoo! Singapore posted this picture of Ng Teng Fong today for an article on Singapore's wealthiest people. He happens to be ranked up there on the number 1 spot with a chunk of cash that's enough to buy 56 billion Japanese Rice Crackers worth S$1 each. Yes that's a very long way of saying he has S$56 billion.

But this picture truly shows that money is not everything. Richest man in Singapore looks to me like he's rather poor on happiness. And I checked some of his other pictures online and he seemed the same or, in some, forcing a smile.

So guys, don't let money be the goal in life. (I'm not saying that that's his goal in life)
Get something Joyful, something Eternal, something Special, something Unshakeable, something Sovereign.

Ps. I had a great birthday outing with Wendy. We tried mini-golf and it was surprisingly fun thrashing those little kids. We had a lovely dinner and the talk was just wonderful as usual. We headed to the arcade and challenged each other on the Xbox 360. We then went undercover and spied on some people (not in a bad way), then we had soya beancurd for supper and again had a nice chat. In my previous post I was wondering what good would fall into my lap... I should've noticed the geat gift that was already with me. Let the cash continue to go to people like Ng Teng Fong, let rust continue to invade the LP640 and let Robert Pattison continue with his acting... I've got Wendy.

09/09/09

That's today's date. 090909. Cool. And it's way cooler because it happens to be my birthday.

Those born on 08/08/08, you had your day, today's mine. I wonder what good things will happen today. Will a huge load of money fall into my lap? Will someone driving a Lamborghini LP640 hand me his keys? Will Robert Pattinson quit acting?

Well, I'll just wait and see and keep you guys updated.

Till then, Happy Birthday to me.

Can't Put a Finger on it.

You get your month's pay.
You take a percentage of it out.
You place that into a system.
Your palms sweat.
You don't know what you'll get in return.
No sign of a guarantee.
It's too soon to know what lands back into your hands.
You do it again.
Another month.
And another.
Still your heart races.
Your returns are a blur.
You continue doing it.
You're now 68 and have just retired.
It's time to see your returns.
..... what are they?

No, i'm not writing about betting on horses, the lottery or the stock market. It's called CPF. A scheme we have in Singapore that pretty much works like how I've described above.

It is compulsary for working Singaporeans to give 20% of their salary each month to this scheme.

Is this TAX? nope, it's called CPF not TAX. We do have our own income tax as well. That one does contain the letters T, A and X.

Is this an investment scheme? er... I don't know of any compulsary investment schemes around.

Is this a savings plan? Maybe... but you don't know how much you'll get at the end of the day. And you can't decide to take your money out. So maybe not as well.

Is this a gamble? No. Because gambling does seem to provide better odds. (but do not gamble)

Is this protection money? No. Our government does not operate like loan sharks. And furthermore, there isn't much protection from the scheme.

Well, I don't have an answer for this now but I'll continue to find out how to best describe this scheme to all you who are not Singaporeans.

Schumacher is back!

This is just fantastic.

Schumacher is coming back to F1 to stand in for the injured Felipe Massa. Which means he's coming to Singapore. His first ever night race, and his last. It's like "one time only, the 7 times world champion shall demonstrate his ability..."

And you know what? I've got seats so good, I can probably see his pits sweat.

Now that's fantastic.

On another note, Lewis Hamilton is a loser.

Have a great day.

Muscles

I realised that men who go to the gym or rather, men who are beefy and muscular, have just two types of clothing - either something from their baby brother's closet or something that's just way too baggy to be hung on a hanger at a clothing store.

Sometimes its a mixture of both in one outing. An aero-dynamic t shirt from OshKosh B'gosh and a baggy MC Hammer bottom or they may even just cut a hole in a curtain and wear it around their neck as a top with shorts so tight that their own skin's jealous.

I believe it's a dress code. It's probably how the guys at the counter know who to approach for gym packages and other gimmicks. It's a wink and a smile for those dressed for hammer time, but for those in a normal Gap top and bermudas... a registration form is coming your way.

Words of advice for the beef boys: You don't look nice and you're probably going to be asked to help out in moving furniture by a skinny dude.

A Letter

This letter is for the cockroaches living in my car right now.

Hello immigrants,

How are you? Good I believe, since I saw some of you little ones running happily on my carpet. I would just like to inform you that dooms day is coming. And it's coming soon.

Yes, Mr. Killyouall is going to be knocking on your door pretty soon. You probably won't even know it's time. You'll be busy foraging for little bits of food and BAM! you're dead. You can't run from your destiny. You can try, but you're all going to be thrown into a no-mercy war zone soon and unfortunately for you, you're on the losing side. Don't even bother packing your bags and leaving, I'll get you even if you infest my neighbour's car. Passing your cookie-crumb inheritance to your young ones is a bad idea too. They'd be faced up alongside your entire clan.

Thank you for your time spent in my car. I hope you have a pleasant night's rest.

Regards,

Your worst nightmare.

Help this young girl who has cancer

Charmaine has neuroblastoma, a form of cancer and is at her 4th stage of chemo now. Her condition is very serious as the cancer has spread to her bone marrow and bones. She is four, a stage where her other friends are out getting together playing. .

Charmaine's medical treatment will cost a lot of money. About half a million dollars as an upfront deposit to send her to New York for treatment.

If you can help, please do. You can contact her mother, Cynthia, at www.ourfeistyprincess.com

You can also contact Charmaine's god mother at ourfeistyprincess [at] gmail.com.

A kind message

This msg is for the driver in the white Honda Civic Type R that almost hit me just now.

Hi there young fella! Here are a few pointers for you:

Driving really fast and thinking that yours is the only car on the road is probably just your stupidity acting up again.

Revving up your engine from junction to junction only contributes to the petrol companies and global warming.

Having your seat reclined further does not improve your car's aerodynamics.

Get Honda to fix your indicators. I think they don't work.

Almost ramming me off the road and speeding off is just about one of the most cowardly thing to do.

The lights in and on your car makes it look like it's part of a carnival.

Your understeering and ridiculous U-turn only supported the fact that you are a really bad driver.

And lastly, get off the road.

Thank you. Have a pleasant day ahead.

Earth and Venus may collide!!!

In the news (II): Earth -Venus smash-up may be possible in the future.

Yes, you read it right. Studies have shown that there is a 1 in 2500 chance that an orbital chaos may alter Earth's course and cause it to collide with Venus 3.5 Billion years into the future.

Wow. I'd say scrap those long term investments and run!

Ok, sarcasm aside, shouldn't we be more worried about the Global Warming situation that may just take us off the face of this Earth even sooner than the Earth and Venus heavyweight bout?

Well, Of Course!

In the news:

Israeli media reported that a 40-year-old woman showed up at a garbage dump in a panic on Tuesday, looking for her valuable bedding.

She had bought a new mattress for her mother and, wanting the gift to be a surprise, threw away the old one. She then found out the decades-old mattress contained her mother's life savings (S$1,400,000.00).

Workers are helping her search the garbage, but have found no sign of the cash so far.

You're a garbage collector, going through your daily routine of collecting trash. Then some news wave hits you that there's 1.4 million dollars in a mattress somewhere...

If it was hidden in a fake dvd player or a shopping bag tied up with twine, I'd say it's probably burried in trash. If it's something huge like a mattress, I'm pretty sure they have "found no sign of the cash so far".

Then again - "found no sign of the cash so far". Does this mean that they have found the mattress but not the cash?

Look out for a garbage truck with 22" titanium rims driving down your street soon.

Twilight and New Moon

For fans of ridiculously lousy acting and cheezy lines, this series is for all you guys out there.

From this trailer, you can already tell that their (actors) ability to put people (even those on ecstacy) to sleep have improved. I hear that drug companies have already had their sleeping pills renamed under a "New Moon" label just to sell more drugs.

View this trailer with the sound off and see if you can tell what they're trying describe. Even better, substitute their script with these lines:



0:18 - (close up of actress' face looking into actor's eyes) "You sick dude, you took the 50 from my wallet didn't you" (then kisses her to distract her)

0:25 to 0:30 - (actor holds girl close to him) "Will you forgive me for using all your foundation powder and lipstick?"

0:55 - (close up of actor's face after pushing the girl to the wall and thinks to himself) "If john paints a house in 5 hrs and Sam can paint it in 3, how long will it take if both painted the house together?"

1:02 to 1:06 (close up of actor telling actress bad news) " I just let one rip and it seems to be really stinging my eyes."

1:28 (Black dude/vampire raises his hand at speeds slow to humans as well and attempts to strike actress) "I'm going to kill you once my hand motion is completed."

1:31 (actress runs away and black dude ponders) "Darn, I wasn't expecting that. With such great speed and finese, I should be feasting by now."

1:37 onwards (Ending credits and message) " The world sleeps ... 11.20.09"

Talking Elevators

You know those "talking" lifts? Those that go "5th level...Doors are closing" and so on?

I was taking one of those lifts yesterday and it just got me thinking. Maybe I'll just type out the sequence of incidents and you people see what you think before I say anything about it.

Entered lift.
Hit button 6 for 6th floor.
As the doors were closing it said "Doors are closing"
As it began it's elevation it said "Going up"
As it arrived on the 6th floor it said "6th floor"
As the doors were opening it said "Doors are opening"
(yes this one was talkative...and there was this strange echo to it which made it a lil' freaky)

So anything strange?

Anyone ever wondered why there was a need for the lift to talk? was this for the blind (though the buttons were not catered for them)? To me, this specific lift that I was on, had no purpose in most of its announcements. Why you ask? Because:

1) It should tell you that the ride was going up before it actually went up so people would say "Ahhh... this one's going up. I'm on the wrong one. My goodness, must have been too busy reading the newspapers. Let me out before the doors close." If not, it's just rubbing salt into your wound. "Going up" and you're like "what? darn it! I meant to go down! now i'm stuck here til it hits 20 and back."

2) It should also start its "Doors are closing" announcement before the doors begin movement. By the time the announcement is almost done, the doors are already at crush-your-hand status.

Worst Case Scenarios

Choose one:

1) Driving a car with no brakes at 100 miles per hour on a crowded downtown street... with a tarantula on your lap... fighting a scorpion on the other lap. It's 3pm on a wednesday, right about the time petroleum companies are delivering fuel to their stations.

2) Standing on thin ice at the brink of giving way and you can't hold your pee any longer. You have also been holding in that atomic fart for the longest time and it'll go with the pee...and you happen to also be one of those "shiverers" - you shiver quite a bit when you relieve yourself after holding in pee.

3) You robbed a museum taking with you a gem worth 150 million dollars. Your form of escape happened to be a seal-shaped raft which you take to cross a small part of the ocean....which is shark infested. You hit your knee against a nail and it bleeds out into the water and while trying to cover your wound, you drop the gem into the water. It sinks slowly.

4) You're stuck on your parachute hanging from a tree in a jungle after your sky diving session...in which the pilot dropped you off at the wrong place as well. As the venomous tree snake crawls down the lines of your parachute towards you, you hear a familiar roar below. Again you need to pee.

More Inspiring Than Susan Boyle

I saw this video recently and it just tells me that - "Whatever doesn't succeed to take you down, will only make you... pissed."

What each must have thought:
Lion: Ah ha! Prey!
Boar: Oops. Tell Laura I love her.
gets up
Boar: hey... wait... I'm not dead... RUN!
Boar: Now wait a sec... that piece of junk almost killed me! I ain;t gonna let that go! I'm gonna show her who she's dealing with! I'll send a message to her pride about my kind!
Head Rams
Lion: Darn, this pig is like a tiny case of Urticaria! Just keeps coming back!
Boar: Take that! They don't call me John Mcenroe for nothing!

New Skin and Exams

I've recently had problems with my blog... The skin I previously used was hosted on Photobucket and has exceeded its bandwidth. I didn't really have the time to look for an appropriate blog skin so I picked this one from some search I did a couple of minutes ago.

Today I met some of my friends (youths) who were "studying for their coming exams" at the top level of a heartlands shopping arcade. I have discovered that some of their minds have been wired to think:

- Tables and chairs while I'm studying increase the possibility of me flunking. It's best to find a wall and a dark, dusty corner.

- Girlfriend + PSP + Ipod + other friends + playing cards = youth outing.
- Girlfriend + PSP + Ipod + other friends + playing cards + a tiny textbook = Group study

- Spending more than 10 minutes on a math problem is not good... Because it causes my hair to be angled in a strange way as I read and write.

- Choosing a shopping arcade (targetted at youths) as a study venue is ideal for a productive session. Much needed "stress relievers" are strategically located around me.

Planning a trip to Singapore?

For those of you who are planning to visit Singapore and rent a car for your trip, here are 10 pointers to help you prepare for your adventure on our roads.

1. Pack anxiety/stress relief pills.
2. Indicating your intention to move into the lane on the right = being cut off by the car behind.
3. The road 8meter sq enveloping the travelling vehicle of a Singaporean also belongs to him. He has paid for it and it follows his vehicle. Any intention to trespass will result in undesirable events.
4. Road courtesy belongs in the same category as T-Rex, Santa Claus and Unicorns.
5. Should you be held up in a traffic congestion, do not attempt to switch lanes, leave that job to the Unicorns.
6. "Beep" = We're taking your money.
7. Most of our cars here are fitted with 10kg led weights on our indicator levers. It may take a while for a driver to indicate his/her intention or it may not happen (finger injuries are common and will result in the lack of indication).
8. Having a friendly conversation in your car is of utmost importance and can precede holding up traffic on any highway. We take our communication very seriously.
9. Everyone is in a hurry because any form of relaxation invites insults from colleagues, bosses and authorities. You are a tourist, our matters are more important. Please give way.
10. Your engine is not catching fire, it is that hot in Singapore.

PacMan

Have you people tried the PacMan application on my blog? It's on the column on the right. I remember when I was younger and Pac-Man was such a stress reliever (not that I had a lot of stress then... I'd be a troubled child...) , it was a joy to play; eating up strawberries, cherries and other bonuses, escaping the bad guys and then getting the chance to get back at 'em. Aahhh, those were the days... NOW GETTING TO 3RD STAGE IS SIMPLY FRUSTRATING AND STRESSFUL! I don't know if it's this version of the game but my goodness I don't recall myself getting so worked up over PacMan!

"Am I that lousy at it?" = 20 mins of trying/playing
"I don't recall me losing so many times" = another 20 mins.
"NO WAY I'M THAT LOUSY!" = 5 mins and then closed application and YouTube videos.

What's the meaning of "Pac" anyway?

Urticaria

So I finally went to the doctor's. For those of you who do not know why, please view the post below. It's basically urticaria (layman=body rash) and he gave me some medicine. "Please complete the course of medication." he said. I was ok with that, taking 2 weeks of medication. But the thing that made me question his practice was... at the bottom of the medicine label there was this warning -

"Should rash appear, please stop medication and consult doctor."

So what now? I go straight back to you and we create a money making cycle for you?

Body rash

As I'm typing this, I'm actually suffering from a rather bad case of body rash. Tossing and turning at night during my sleep, scratching, twitching and fidgeting every now and then... it drives me to think that at one point of their lives, Michael Jackson, MC Hammer and Madonna all had a case of body rash.

Drunk Sumo Wrestler

Here's a new thing to try.

1. Place video camera on tripod and start recording.
2. Get an office chair. Sit on the office chair.
3. Make sure you're in the camera's view with the scene capturing your entire body and a couple of feet above your head.
4. Allow a friend to spin you clockwise for about 1 minute at a constant speed.
5. Make sure your eyes are closed at all times.
6. A minute later, when the chair stops, stand up (still with eyes closed) and do one of those "leg thumps" that Sumo wrestlers do before each match.
7. Post video on Youtube entitled "Drunk Sumo Wrestler".

Fat Chance

I recall many using this phrase "Fat chance!" and I'm actually puzzled by how it came about.

- Fat chance! (informal) something that you say which means something is not very likely to happen.

I'm puzzled because... well, I don't know about most of you but, my idea of something fat is well, something large. Like in "Honey, do you think my butt looks fat?" or "I have just received a fat pay check today!" or "My goodness! That's a fat cat!"

So if that's my idea of "fat" then "fat chance" would then mean "huge chance".

"Do you think I stand a chance with that girl mate?" - "yea mate! fat chance!"

with that, I'd be walking up to the girl.


Ok, as I was typing this, I actually realised that there's also a phrase "Slim chance"

I checked it out on the dictionary:
Noun 1. Slim Chance - Little or no chance of success.

WHAT???? So which is it? If my chances are fat, success is not very likely to happen. If my chances are slim, I stand little or no chance of success...

Such a superficial world out there. Even our idioms are vain.

Wise sayings again

"Vinegar and grapes go together like convertibles and man with toupee."

"Golf is as exciting as two mimes attempting to outdo each other."

"Flying bees with bare-bodied man = Macho Man."

"in hospital."

"Forgetting girlfriend's birthday = Single man."

"Saying the wrong name during wedding = man beside Macho Man."

Wise sayings

Today, I would like to add a new theory (I'd like to call it one of those wise sayings/proverbs) of my own.

"The one who lives in the east, on a high floor with white curtains and large windows, awakens early."

And,

"The sun is like a gazillion light bulbs."

What did you say?

I was invited to a conference a while ago and it got pretty boring during one of the presentations from a professor from... well... I don't want to offend anyone so I'll just say that I believe that English wasn't the first language from where he came from.

Anyhow, to keep myself (looking) attentive, I began to pen down the things I heard him say, or thought I heard him say. I recently found the slip of paper and figured I should post it.

What I heard | What he meant

Vigit | Visit
Brad Pitt | Rapid
Waystern | Western
Caringian | Canadian
Shingle | Single
Lunch | Launch
Poo-ah | Poor
Two Guy | Tour Guide
Killed | Cured
Kill all the retard | Cure for old retirees
Au-bown | Outbound
Itch |Each
Bee-zer-ness | Business
O-pry-sian | Operation

I also discovered that when a customer service staff says "Sir, we'll contact you once we have a replacement ready for you.", they actually mean "HA! You FOOL!!".

And listening to your favourite song over and over while you're put on hold can cause you to hate it.

Today's thoughts

I feel that just like the enforcements on driving after drinking, there should also be enforcements on driving after studying for your advance mathematics paper. (or after watching Center Stage)

There should also be a law making it a mandate to take the car keys from your boyfriend or girlfriend after you've just informed him/her that your life will be better spent with someone else.

I also feel that the person who came up with "stop and smell the roses" was/is definitely not Singaporean. It takes the average Singaporean at least 40 mins to get to a nearby florist and another 40 minutes back. That would make it an hour and a half journey in the HEAT of Singapore just to get scolded by the florist.

That statement may work in countries like Australia where the weather is generally nice and wild flowers are aplenty. In Singapore, I would say that if someone used that statement on you, it was to piss you off.

A Liger

Although this may be old news to many of you, but I came across this today on the web and it's simply astounding. Pronounced Ly - ger, this animal's a cross between a Lion and a Tiger. And it's HUGE. It's the Shaquille O'neal of the cat kingdom. The one I saw was bred and raised in captivity and therefore APPEARED rather tame and loving to its trainers.

If it came here to Singapore (where I live), I would definitely like to ride on it (after purchasing diapers to contain the pee I would let out during the ride).

I also realised that windy days are not good days to hang out with friends who fart alot. And with proper timing and calculation (i.e wind velocity/trajectories), one can be the target of a fart bullet.

Fart bullets are known to inflict the following side effects:

Nausea
Vommitting
Fainting spells
Short term memory loss
Loss of appetite
Asthma
Shortage of breath
Sever coughing
Teary eyes
Convulsions
Tourettes Syndrome

Should any of these symptoms surface, please consult a martial arts expert on how to deal with the perpetrator.