Twilight and New Moon

For fans of ridiculously lousy acting and cheezy lines, this series is for all you guys out there.

From this trailer, you can already tell that their (actors) ability to put people (even those on ecstacy) to sleep have improved. I hear that drug companies have already had their sleeping pills renamed under a "New Moon" label just to sell more drugs.

View this trailer with the sound off and see if you can tell what they're trying describe. Even better, substitute their script with these lines:



0:18 - (close up of actress' face looking into actor's eyes) "You sick dude, you took the 50 from my wallet didn't you" (then kisses her to distract her)

0:25 to 0:30 - (actor holds girl close to him) "Will you forgive me for using all your foundation powder and lipstick?"

0:55 - (close up of actor's face after pushing the girl to the wall and thinks to himself) "If john paints a house in 5 hrs and Sam can paint it in 3, how long will it take if both painted the house together?"

1:02 to 1:06 (close up of actor telling actress bad news) " I just let one rip and it seems to be really stinging my eyes."

1:28 (Black dude/vampire raises his hand at speeds slow to humans as well and attempts to strike actress) "I'm going to kill you once my hand motion is completed."

1:31 (actress runs away and black dude ponders) "Darn, I wasn't expecting that. With such great speed and finese, I should be feasting by now."

1:37 onwards (Ending credits and message) " The world sleeps ... 11.20.09"