What did you say?

I was invited to a conference a while ago and it got pretty boring during one of the presentations from a professor from... well... I don't want to offend anyone so I'll just say that I believe that English wasn't the first language from where he came from.

Anyhow, to keep myself (looking) attentive, I began to pen down the things I heard him say, or thought I heard him say. I recently found the slip of paper and figured I should post it.

What I heard | What he meant

Vigit | Visit
Brad Pitt | Rapid
Waystern | Western
Caringian | Canadian
Shingle | Single
Lunch | Launch
Poo-ah | Poor
Two Guy | Tour Guide
Killed | Cured
Kill all the retard | Cure for old retirees
Au-bown | Outbound
Itch |Each
Bee-zer-ness | Business
O-pry-sian | Operation

I also discovered that when a customer service staff says "Sir, we'll contact you once we have a replacement ready for you.", they actually mean "HA! You FOOL!!".

And listening to your favourite song over and over while you're put on hold can cause you to hate it.