Help this young girl who has cancer

Charmaine has neuroblastoma, a form of cancer and is at her 4th stage of chemo now. Her condition is very serious as the cancer has spread to her bone marrow and bones. She is four, a stage where her other friends are out getting together playing. .

Charmaine's medical treatment will cost a lot of money. About half a million dollars as an upfront deposit to send her to New York for treatment.

If you can help, please do. You can contact her mother, Cynthia, at www.ourfeistyprincess.com

You can also contact Charmaine's god mother at ourfeistyprincess [at] gmail.com.

A kind message

This msg is for the driver in the white Honda Civic Type R that almost hit me just now.

Hi there young fella! Here are a few pointers for you:

Driving really fast and thinking that yours is the only car on the road is probably just your stupidity acting up again.

Revving up your engine from junction to junction only contributes to the petrol companies and global warming.

Having your seat reclined further does not improve your car's aerodynamics.

Get Honda to fix your indicators. I think they don't work.

Almost ramming me off the road and speeding off is just about one of the most cowardly thing to do.

The lights in and on your car makes it look like it's part of a carnival.

Your understeering and ridiculous U-turn only supported the fact that you are a really bad driver.

And lastly, get off the road.

Thank you. Have a pleasant day ahead.

Earth and Venus may collide!!!

In the news (II): Earth -Venus smash-up may be possible in the future.

Yes, you read it right. Studies have shown that there is a 1 in 2500 chance that an orbital chaos may alter Earth's course and cause it to collide with Venus 3.5 Billion years into the future.

Wow. I'd say scrap those long term investments and run!

Ok, sarcasm aside, shouldn't we be more worried about the Global Warming situation that may just take us off the face of this Earth even sooner than the Earth and Venus heavyweight bout?

Well, Of Course!

In the news:

Israeli media reported that a 40-year-old woman showed up at a garbage dump in a panic on Tuesday, looking for her valuable bedding.

She had bought a new mattress for her mother and, wanting the gift to be a surprise, threw away the old one. She then found out the decades-old mattress contained her mother's life savings (S$1,400,000.00).

Workers are helping her search the garbage, but have found no sign of the cash so far.

You're a garbage collector, going through your daily routine of collecting trash. Then some news wave hits you that there's 1.4 million dollars in a mattress somewhere...

If it was hidden in a fake dvd player or a shopping bag tied up with twine, I'd say it's probably burried in trash. If it's something huge like a mattress, I'm pretty sure they have "found no sign of the cash so far".

Then again - "found no sign of the cash so far". Does this mean that they have found the mattress but not the cash?

Look out for a garbage truck with 22" titanium rims driving down your street soon.

Twilight and New Moon

For fans of ridiculously lousy acting and cheezy lines, this series is for all you guys out there.

From this trailer, you can already tell that their (actors) ability to put people (even those on ecstacy) to sleep have improved. I hear that drug companies have already had their sleeping pills renamed under a "New Moon" label just to sell more drugs.

View this trailer with the sound off and see if you can tell what they're trying describe. Even better, substitute their script with these lines:



0:18 - (close up of actress' face looking into actor's eyes) "You sick dude, you took the 50 from my wallet didn't you" (then kisses her to distract her)

0:25 to 0:30 - (actor holds girl close to him) "Will you forgive me for using all your foundation powder and lipstick?"

0:55 - (close up of actor's face after pushing the girl to the wall and thinks to himself) "If john paints a house in 5 hrs and Sam can paint it in 3, how long will it take if both painted the house together?"

1:02 to 1:06 (close up of actor telling actress bad news) " I just let one rip and it seems to be really stinging my eyes."

1:28 (Black dude/vampire raises his hand at speeds slow to humans as well and attempts to strike actress) "I'm going to kill you once my hand motion is completed."

1:31 (actress runs away and black dude ponders) "Darn, I wasn't expecting that. With such great speed and finese, I should be feasting by now."

1:37 onwards (Ending credits and message) " The world sleeps ... 11.20.09"

Talking Elevators

You know those "talking" lifts? Those that go "5th level...Doors are closing" and so on?

I was taking one of those lifts yesterday and it just got me thinking. Maybe I'll just type out the sequence of incidents and you people see what you think before I say anything about it.

Entered lift.
Hit button 6 for 6th floor.
As the doors were closing it said "Doors are closing"
As it began it's elevation it said "Going up"
As it arrived on the 6th floor it said "6th floor"
As the doors were opening it said "Doors are opening"
(yes this one was talkative...and there was this strange echo to it which made it a lil' freaky)

So anything strange?

Anyone ever wondered why there was a need for the lift to talk? was this for the blind (though the buttons were not catered for them)? To me, this specific lift that I was on, had no purpose in most of its announcements. Why you ask? Because:

1) It should tell you that the ride was going up before it actually went up so people would say "Ahhh... this one's going up. I'm on the wrong one. My goodness, must have been too busy reading the newspapers. Let me out before the doors close." If not, it's just rubbing salt into your wound. "Going up" and you're like "what? darn it! I meant to go down! now i'm stuck here til it hits 20 and back."

2) It should also start its "Doors are closing" announcement before the doors begin movement. By the time the announcement is almost done, the doors are already at crush-your-hand status.

Worst Case Scenarios

Choose one:

1) Driving a car with no brakes at 100 miles per hour on a crowded downtown street... with a tarantula on your lap... fighting a scorpion on the other lap. It's 3pm on a wednesday, right about the time petroleum companies are delivering fuel to their stations.

2) Standing on thin ice at the brink of giving way and you can't hold your pee any longer. You have also been holding in that atomic fart for the longest time and it'll go with the pee...and you happen to also be one of those "shiverers" - you shiver quite a bit when you relieve yourself after holding in pee.

3) You robbed a museum taking with you a gem worth 150 million dollars. Your form of escape happened to be a seal-shaped raft which you take to cross a small part of the ocean....which is shark infested. You hit your knee against a nail and it bleeds out into the water and while trying to cover your wound, you drop the gem into the water. It sinks slowly.

4) You're stuck on your parachute hanging from a tree in a jungle after your sky diving session...in which the pilot dropped you off at the wrong place as well. As the venomous tree snake crawls down the lines of your parachute towards you, you hear a familiar roar below. Again you need to pee.