This letter is for the cockroaches living in my car right now.
Hello immigrants,
How are you? Good I believe, since I saw some of you little ones running happily on my carpet. I would just like to inform you that dooms day is coming. And it's coming soon.
Yes, Mr. Killyouall is going to be knocking on your door pretty soon. You probably won't even know it's time. You'll be busy foraging for little bits of food and BAM! you're dead. You can't run from your destiny. You can try, but you're all going to be thrown into a no-mercy war zone soon and unfortunately for you, you're on the losing side. Don't even bother packing your bags and leaving, I'll get you even if you infest my neighbour's car. Passing your cookie-crumb inheritance to your young ones is a bad idea too. They'd be faced up alongside your entire clan.
Thank you for your time spent in my car. I hope you have a pleasant night's rest.
Regards,
Your worst nightmare.
A Letter
Help this young girl who has cancer
Charmaine has neuroblastoma, a form of cancer and is at her 4th stage of chemo now. Her condition is very serious as the cancer has spread to her bone marrow and bones. She is four, a stage where her other friends are out getting together playing. .
Charmaine's medical treatment will cost a lot of money. About half a million dollars as an upfront deposit to send her to New York for treatment.
If you can help, please do. You can contact her mother, Cynthia, at www.ourfeistyprincess.com
You can also contact Charmaine's god mother at ourfeistyprincess [at] gmail.com.
A kind message
This msg is for the driver in the white Honda Civic Type R that almost hit me just now.
Hi there young fella! Here are a few pointers for you:
Driving really fast and thinking that yours is the only car on the road is probably just your stupidity acting up again.
Revving up your engine from junction to junction only contributes to the petrol companies and global warming.
Having your seat reclined further does not improve your car's aerodynamics.
Get Honda to fix your indicators. I think they don't work.
Almost ramming me off the road and speeding off is just about one of the most cowardly thing to do.
The lights in and on your car makes it look like it's part of a carnival.
Your understeering and ridiculous U-turn only supported the fact that you are a really bad driver.
And lastly, get off the road.
Thank you. Have a pleasant day ahead.
Earth and Venus may collide!!!
In the news (II): Earth -Venus smash-up may be possible in the future.
Yes, you read it right. Studies have shown that there is a 1 in 2500 chance that an orbital chaos may alter Earth's course and cause it to collide with Venus 3.5 Billion years into the future.
Wow. I'd say scrap those long term investments and run!
Ok, sarcasm aside, shouldn't we be more worried about the Global Warming situation that may just take us off the face of this Earth even sooner than the Earth and Venus heavyweight bout?
Well, Of Course!
In the news:
Israeli media reported that a 40-year-old woman showed up at a garbage dump in a panic on Tuesday, looking for her valuable bedding.
She had bought a new mattress for her mother and, wanting the gift to be a surprise, threw away the old one. She then found out the decades-old mattress contained her mother's life savings (S$1,400,000.00).
Workers are helping her search the garbage, but have found no sign of the cash so far.
You're a garbage collector, going through your daily routine of collecting trash. Then some news wave hits you that there's 1.4 million dollars in a mattress somewhere...
If it was hidden in a fake dvd player or a shopping bag tied up with twine, I'd say it's probably burried in trash. If it's something huge like a mattress, I'm pretty sure they have "found no sign of the cash so far".
Then again - "found no sign of the cash so far". Does this mean that they have found the mattress but not the cash?
Look out for a garbage truck with 22" titanium rims driving down your street soon.
Twilight and New Moon
For fans of ridiculously lousy acting and cheezy lines, this series is for all you guys out there.
From this trailer, you can already tell that their (actors) ability to put people (even those on ecstacy) to sleep have improved. I hear that drug companies have already had their sleeping pills renamed under a "New Moon" label just to sell more drugs.
View this trailer with the sound off and see if you can tell what they're trying describe. Even better, substitute their script with these lines:
0:18 - (close up of actress' face looking into actor's eyes) "You sick dude, you took the 50 from my wallet didn't you" (then kisses her to distract her)
0:25 to 0:30 - (actor holds girl close to him) "Will you forgive me for using all your foundation powder and lipstick?"
0:55 - (close up of actor's face after pushing the girl to the wall and thinks to himself) "If john paints a house in 5 hrs and Sam can paint it in 3, how long will it take if both painted the house together?"
1:02 to 1:06 (close up of actor telling actress bad news) " I just let one rip and it seems to be really stinging my eyes."
1:28 (Black dude/vampire raises his hand at speeds slow to humans as well and attempts to strike actress) "I'm going to kill you once my hand motion is completed."
1:31 (actress runs away and black dude ponders) "Darn, I wasn't expecting that. With such great speed and finese, I should be feasting by now."
1:37 onwards (Ending credits and message) " The world sleeps ... 11.20.09"
