Talking Elevators

You know those "talking" lifts? Those that go "5th level...Doors are closing" and so on?

I was taking one of those lifts yesterday and it just got me thinking. Maybe I'll just type out the sequence of incidents and you people see what you think before I say anything about it.

Entered lift.
Hit button 6 for 6th floor.
As the doors were closing it said "Doors are closing"
As it began it's elevation it said "Going up"
As it arrived on the 6th floor it said "6th floor"
As the doors were opening it said "Doors are opening"
(yes this one was talkative...and there was this strange echo to it which made it a lil' freaky)

So anything strange?

Anyone ever wondered why there was a need for the lift to talk? was this for the blind (though the buttons were not catered for them)? To me, this specific lift that I was on, had no purpose in most of its announcements. Why you ask? Because:

1) It should tell you that the ride was going up before it actually went up so people would say "Ahhh... this one's going up. I'm on the wrong one. My goodness, must have been too busy reading the newspapers. Let me out before the doors close." If not, it's just rubbing salt into your wound. "Going up" and you're like "what? darn it! I meant to go down! now i'm stuck here til it hits 20 and back."

2) It should also start its "Doors are closing" announcement before the doors begin movement. By the time the announcement is almost done, the doors are already at crush-your-hand status.

Worst Case Scenarios

Choose one:

1) Driving a car with no brakes at 100 miles per hour on a crowded downtown street... with a tarantula on your lap... fighting a scorpion on the other lap. It's 3pm on a wednesday, right about the time petroleum companies are delivering fuel to their stations.

2) Standing on thin ice at the brink of giving way and you can't hold your pee any longer. You have also been holding in that atomic fart for the longest time and it'll go with the pee...and you happen to also be one of those "shiverers" - you shiver quite a bit when you relieve yourself after holding in pee.

3) You robbed a museum taking with you a gem worth 150 million dollars. Your form of escape happened to be a seal-shaped raft which you take to cross a small part of the ocean....which is shark infested. You hit your knee against a nail and it bleeds out into the water and while trying to cover your wound, you drop the gem into the water. It sinks slowly.

4) You're stuck on your parachute hanging from a tree in a jungle after your sky diving session...in which the pilot dropped you off at the wrong place as well. As the venomous tree snake crawls down the lines of your parachute towards you, you hear a familiar roar below. Again you need to pee.